work with my hands

A Charlie Brown Ad Agency Christmas

2009-01-13T12:03:00.000-08:00

A little late, I know...

I've been doing a lot of reading on editor's blogs, photog websites, etc... and I came across this:

yes, that's their name

2009-01-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

Pops - Giant Panda

no this isn't some cry for help.

shirts

2009-01-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

bojangles

2008-12-31T18:37:00.000-08:00

met lisa for coffee today. she had her dog bojangles with her. how could i not take pictures?

he was just like a little kid. loved to chew on your hands, poking his nose everywhere, looking right back at the people who stared at him. apparently he really loves baby strollers too. he took right to me, and was resting his head on my feet within minutes. i felt what dog owners feel every day: how this animal can really love you and craves your companionship. and you reciprocate that feeling. i understand my aunt and uncle having three dogs now.

collectible plates are a waste of time

2008-12-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

i went over to my grandpa's house today. he told me i should come on over and check some stuff out.

but first, he asked me my shoe size. eight and a half i said.

upon arriving, he told me to go up to his closet, and look through a large set of drawers. take anything that you want he told me. the drawers were full of some of the nicest shoes that i have ever laid eyes on.

and not just oooh, pretty to look at! no these are very understated, straightforward shoes. shoes that were made by hand, and made well. some of the pairs are twenty years old, or more. but they look and wear as if they were just put back on the shelf yesterday.

my grandfather gave me seven pairs of shoes today. that doubles the number of pairs of shoes that i now own. my grandpa and i agree on the view that if you like something enough, you should buy it. and if you buy it, it should be quality. and if you own this quality thing, you should use it. not collect it, but use it.

kind of like people who have nice wine glasses or dishes that they never use. or nice clothes/shoes that stay hung up in the closet for three hundred and sixty four days out of the year. expensive furniture that they never sit on, or let anyone else sit on. that's just crazy. all objects have a function, except those little "precious moments" figurines (their purpose is to look stupid), and you should own an object for its function first, and if the aesthetic is extra awesome too, well then that's extra icing for you.

but you don't buy classy-looking garbage bags. you buy garbage bags that hold your garbage. anything else is just extra, like those little pull strings on the pricey trash bags.

spam subject lines

2008-12-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

so i clicked open my spam folder in gmail just to see if i missed any valid emails. not like i really did, but i'm amazed at the sheer number of pieces of spam mail that come in a month. and then i saw this line:

FREE LOVE-BEAST INSIDE YOU

i laughed out loud. for at least thirty seconds.

how are those five words going to make me buy the little blue pill? i mean, every other male my age must be having serious problems getting it up in the sack. OR viagra's marketing is waaaayyy off, because twenty-three year old males are not a key demographic for erectile dysfunction treatments.

I'll give you a few more samples of spam mail posts:

MAKE YOUR HOSE GREATER

THE POWER IN YOUR PANTS WILL BE REALLY BREATH-TAKING

MAKE YOUR BONER YOUR PRIDE

ONLY HUGE BONERS CAN REACH G-SPOT

EASY SATISFYING EVEN IF TIPSY

i mean, when i say these phrases aloud, it sounds like a bad translation from some eastern european country. and fractured sentences is no way to make someone buy something.

you will be fierce. you will be a warrior.

2008-12-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

things have been a little slow. being cold makes it hard to do pretty much anything because your fingers and toes and feet and arms and head and all of you don't want to do anything but stay under the covers where it's warm. maybe add reading a book, listening to music, doodling, or movies to that. a small list of what to do when it's cold.

but we all get out of bed and go to work and clean our houses and do our laundry and go out for drinks and whatnot because, well, we have to. because sitting in bed all day would get boring and you would need to shower eventually. not to mention bedsores, the pillows getting squished and all hot, and missing out on all the fun everyone else is having, even though it's cold.

what i'm really saying here is that i'm a big advocate of sucking it up and getting up even when it's cold. just shower, and you'll be good. drink a cup of coffee or tea, or cocoa (like my little sister does because she doesn't like tea or coffee). besides, you can read and doodle and watch movies out of bed too. but you can't go for a bike ride in the early morning when all you see is your breath, the streets, jehovah's witnesses making the rounds, people opening up their shops and restaurants, and the early morning grey sky.

if your not a biker, walk. or parking is free everywhere on sundays. so there.

i'm going to finish with this video of ira glass (this american life. in case you're not enlightened) talking about the period of suck that happens when you start doing something you love, and the point where you get good at it. there's no magic in between. just work. watch the video, people.

king of the spreadsheets, i got em printed on my bedsheets!

2008-12-08T23:18:00.000-08:00

So I'm sure a few of you (probably none because you're just not cool enough!) have seen the new video that the Sniper Twins dropped. All thanks to hard drive manufacturer Seagate, who realized that the best marketing is done by a cast of Office Space-esque dudes who really know the meaning of hardcore:

*yes, they do teleport into their their computer monitor. they're just that gangsta!*

After playing this for my buddy Josef, he declared me a little bitch, and told me that we needed to take it way back, and play the OG-est of all nerd rap:

peace.

it is olga's birthday.

2008-12-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Olga!

Have a Cake!

2008-12-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

So I had pretty much the scariest dream that I've ever had in my life last night. It was probably the scariest because it happened while I was just on the edge of waking up. So it was as lucid as I think that dreams can be, while still staying in the realm of extra-ordinary. So, the dream(including preface...):

I was visiting with some friends(I don't know who they were) who lived in a remote area in the mountains. We were hanging out at their cabin, and another friend came by, getting there by the local FunnelJet**BREAK TO EXPLAIN**

The FunnelJet is a plane with a removable jet engine on the back of it. It takes off using the jet engine(kind of like those Navy VTOL planes, and the engine is removed when it gets to its destination. The jet then glides back down to it's port of call. Needless to say, this is perfect for people who live above where the airport is, and close by. It's useless for lots of other things. And there was nothing about why the engine was removed. It just was.

Don't ask how I knew all of this. It's a dream people!
**BREAK'S OVER**

So that night, since we were in the mountains, I slept outside. On a floating bed. Actually, it was more like a floating mattress, tied to the ground with one rope. And it sort of floated around. But somewhere in my head, I had reassured myself that this fantastical bed was perfectly safe, and I wouldn't fall off. For the record, I don't move around when I sleep.

So I was lying in this bed, watching these FunnelJets take off and land, and I was thinking:
"This is so cool" I can tell all my friends how I fell asleep watching jets take off!"

So the bed is floating around, and it floats closer to the jets, and I get excited because I get to see them close up. But as it drifts closer, the rope that ties it to the ground begins to pull.

Because, you see, it is only tied at one spot on the bed.

So the edge of the bed/mat begins to creep underneath itself; starting to pull the bed into a vertical position. Crap.

It pulls closer and closer to my end of the bed, and while it supports my weight, I'm running out of room.

I know that I'm going to fall. I'm not Cirque d' Soleil enough to flip myself onto the top edge of the bed before I tumble off the . bedAnd right before the bed switches completely from a horizontal to a vertical position, I wake up.

With my heart in my mouth. I had never felt like this in real life. I'm pretty sure that what I was feeling was total, abject terror. Even when I went skydiving, I felt more thrilled than terrified.

On a more banal note: I got new socks! They are comfortable as hell, and when I pulled them on for the first time:

"aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh............."

In short, they are awesome.

website stuff...

2008-12-03T18:04:00.000-08:00

No Easy Answers (Produced by 14KT of Labtechs) - Invincible

so, finally, after stalling for a super long time, i'm going to put together a website for my photography. maybe use it to host my blog too. because i really need to put one together to get myself out there. it's probably a big thing that holds me back from getting jobs. anyway...

so, does anyone know a good web hosting company? this is the main thing that i'm having problems with, because there are ten thousand out there. i don't need a ton of functionality, like coldfusion support or anything. but a good, solid host, decent amount of space, domain registration, and all that. i'm willing to pay about $8 a month to start with a super-basic plan.

so if you know one, let me know. i'm doing research on my own, but a recommendation is far more valuable to me!

little slideshow

2008-11-28T13:36:00.001-08:00

i just discovered that you can make slideshows with flickr. i haven't touched my account for a while, and i logged in recently, and AMAZING-DISCOVERY! so, enjoy.

thanksgiving day

2008-11-27T15:25:00.000-08:00

happy thanksgiving all! So I hope that everyone is having a good time with their family, eating turkey, hangin' out, just having a nice day in general.

me, i get to see most of my family (couple people can't make it), chill with my grandpa, and eat my mom's cranberry bread. the really really REALLY good cranberry bread.

you know how there's always stuff in every family that everyone looks toward? and how there's never enough of it to go around, even though the creator of the stuff makes oodles of it anyway? well, that's my mom's cranberry bread. I woke up this morning to the smell of it throughout the house. she started baking it around eight this morning, and you're seeing what i saw when i went into the kitchen.

now, if i had come in while she was making it, she would have kicked me out of the kitchen. rightfully so, because i would have tried to steal a piece. but i just saw empty tins (she uses the same ones every year, for as long as i can remember), which meant: the cranberry bread is made. it's out there, in the wild. i'm gonna go get it!

forgot about the fun

2008-11-26T19:26:00.000-08:00

so i've been so caught up in the whole "studio" aspect of photography, that i totally forgot that i can just shoot whatever and get creative and have fun with it.

by the way, when i was looking at your blog, ian, i remembered this, and thought,"better pick up the camera and get on it."

so i shot the grim aftermath of making eggs for lunch. p.s. the garlic is for eating whole. so you're healthy, and can drive away vampires and people.

so there might be more of this as time goes on. not always breakfast, but a little something here and there.

being sick is one of the worst things. ever.

2008-11-20T20:04:00.000-08:00

It's been kind of lame for me lately.

At the beginning of November, I started a furious two weeks of work with Mark (the photographer I work for). that consisted of two full day shoots, the portrait workshop that he runs several times a year*, three more full day shoots the following week (all with this awesome guy Ian, who wanted to take up my position when my term with Mark is finished), combined with driving all over L.A. picking up people, dropping off stuff, running tons of errands, and so on... Oh, and I helped Rosie pick up her new keyboard, this amazing Roland one from a super-nice couple in Alhambra. She's so stoked to have a piano to play now, and I'm really happy for her, because playing piano is such a huge part of her.

Following week started off with my aunt and uncles's birthday(same day, no lie!), and then driving Nina back to Whitter. That was a killer. Then I met up with Ketzie down in Long Beach, ostensibly to talk about the wedding invitations, but we really got nothing done but eating so tast-y Greek food and good conversation. Then back to L.A. for some late night headshots with Mark. I was already super tired from all the continuous work, but I started feeling kind of crappy right about then...

Had Tuesday off, but met up with Jeannie to talk about a makeup shoot that we both want to do. She's a super talented makeup artist who is just an all around awesome person (who allegedly makes the best French toast ever), and one of the many reasons I am glad I took the job with Mark. We ate some tacos and talked, but we were both a little under the weather, so we both went back to our respective abodes for a bit of a lie-in. Still sick.

Next day was Metrolink annual report day, which meant a full day of shooting at Union Station, Taylor Yard, and tons of running around schlepping gear feeling sick as a dog, and wanting everything to just be over. Oh, and we started at 6:15 A-freakin-M! Another day of that today, out in Pomona, a little less early, but no less tiring because lets face it, I'm still sick.

On the bright side, I got the great product shot at the top of this post from a day of personal shooting near the beginning of November. It was a really great moment for something to really work for me photographically amidst all this bustle. I have some other cool things that I want to do once I am no longer sick. Or maybe while I still am.

And I only have three more months left to work for Mark. Time has flown, and while I have learned a lot from working with him, I am SO ready to move on. I want to be exposed to so much new stuff, and I know it's just out there waiting for me. I gotta go grabbit!

But before that, I'm going to go eat something, and pass out hoping that I wake up well.

Barack Obama

2008-10-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I voted for him. I'm mailing my ballot in today. But I wanted to marvel online at the sheer brilliance of this campaign move. Letting John McCain bluster and accuse after the debates were over, hurl baseless threats at the American people of what would happen if we elected Obama. And then Obama releases this. A THIRTY-FREAKING-MINUTE campaign commercial!! With absolutely no malice in it towards John McCain. Just touch-feely stories about people he wants to help, and how he's going to bring change, and all that. OK, typical political stuff.

But then I found out some new information. Something BIG.

Obama was...

a professor of Constitutional law!

Now this is amazing news to me. Mostly because if you are any sort of instructor on anything pertaining to the Constitution, you've got to love it. Because it can be sooo boring. I know, because my dad likes to talk about the Constitution and it's meanings, and sometimes I just can't take it.

But for Obama to be a professor of Constitutional law means he had to love AND respect what was in that document. And you know that he will adhere to what it means in spirit, what the Founders intended for this country. And that he won't twist and pervert it for his own purposes and personal gain.

Because that's what the biggest crime of this administration was and is. They forecasted a loss of our Constitution if we "let the terrorists win", when the ones who really trampled all over our rights were the people saying that they were looking out for us. When they were really only looking out for themselves and their friends.

I hope to God that Barack Obama doesn't fall into that same category of politicians. Which most of them slide quite happily into with no second thoughts about what this country really needs. Yes I think Obama is all about hope. That he has hope that this country can turn itself around and become truly great. And that we hope that our trust in him is not misplaced.

Regular Ol' Stuff

2008-10-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

So besides that rambling post last night, stuff with me:

The Dodgers are back in the NLCS, kicking the shite out of the Phillies 7-2, five of those runs in the first inning. I'm on edge for tonight's game, hoping that they keep it together and power through tonight. Pitching looks good, and they look more like a team than ever.

I've started meeting with the other assistant that works for my boss. We've decided that we need to get ourselves motivated and bust our asses so that we shoot more. So every two weeks, we have to shoot at least once (I'm hoping to do more!) and show each other work, talk about the goods and bads, what went into getting the shoot organized, etc... I have high hopes for this, and I really feel like this is the first step in moving towards working photography.

I've also decided to try and get in touch with other photographers who are working, and talk with them about getting motivated, working with people, putting shoots together, etc... The first one is someone I've communicated with before, Rebecca van Ommen, a Dutch/Filipino photographer, who recently relocated to London. She's 24 years old, but has worked on campaigns for Pepsi, Gatorade, and other large clients. I'm very impressed with her, and hope to learn a lot from her.

I'm going to start running again! Seriously. It's going to be hard to break into doing this, because I like to run with people, and hopefully I'll find someone who will be motivated with me (Robyn...). We'll see. But I miss how I felt when I was running regularly. My general fitness level was much higher, and that really affected my moods and motivation on a day to day basis.

I guess that this little update is all about motivation! I'm gettin' some!

To finish, a recent shoot I did for a friend's bike shop. He sells imported Chinese bicycles called Flying Pigeons. They have been made the same since the Cultural Revolution in China! But they are very comfortable to ride; described as "the Cadillac of bikes".

.

.

Just a few of the shots, but it's one of the first commercial shoots that I've done. We;re planning on doing another shoot with a more environmental feel; people looking cool riding the bikes or sitting at some chi-chi cafe with their flying Pigeon next to them.

Holy Deadbeat Bankers, Batman!! My Credit-Default-Swap Bond Just Plummeted!!

2008-10-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

The current financial crisis, though mind-bogglingly tragic to most Americans, has not really affected me too much personally. I guess that's because I don't really own anything (a cheap car, some camera equipment, and a bunch of bike parts), I don't have any debt (I'm too terrified of credit cards to get one until I KNOW that I can handle one), and I don't really have any investments (an ING savings account, that's it). So I'm pretty much in the clear for now. Even still, I'm crapping my pants in fear.

Of course, as I try to go freelance in six months or so, the fact that every company and individual on the block is tightening their belts and hunkering down for a long, Arctic financial winter WILL affect me. Because if people can't afford to make payments on the place they live, keep their businesses running, or even buy holiday gifts for their cute little children, then they certainly aren't going to spend it on photography. Even if this crisis only lasts six months (which it undoubtedly won't), the reverberations of wild speculation will keep companies and individuals spending conservatively for much longer.

I won't try to summarize exactly what happened, or what will happen. So many people have done a good job already, and my friend Nate posted an especially excellent summary: How We Are Screwed: A Summary. It's got Ira Glass, so enjoy his soothing voice.

But on my own personal level, and in particular at work, I've noticed a few small changes here and there. Firstly, group photos. Usually, companies get headshots of all of their partners and associates, and quite often, their receptionists and admin people, just because the photographer is there. And why not include everyone? Now, companies are getting headshots of just their CEOs and top people, and then trying to squeeze all the associates and partners into a group shot of some sort. And the admin folks aren't even considered.

Secondly, the number of corporate headshot jobs has cut down so much, just in the last three weeks. We've done one headshot job, and three or four editorial jobs in the last two weeks. Those numbers are usually reversed, or even no editorial jobs at all. People gotta read their magazines. But they can still use last year's headshots...

Another thing: I think my boss is relieved that I didn't accept his offer to continue working for him at a higher rate per month. While he is still working a great deal more than his competition, I don't think that he would have been able to afford to pay me more money, especially the amount I was considering demanding from him. Even though I feared not having a steady paycheck, I needed to get out there. Bust my balls and get my shit together in the big bad world of commercial photography. I've been looking at the work of working professionals who operate waaayyyy above me, and seeing their stuff, I think, and in some cases, know, that I can do it better. Just need to work on getting stuffy folks to smile.

But despite all my positive thinking about my future, this over and out failure of the world's financial system is scary as hell. If the government screws up any step of this bail-out-the-banks process, so many banks will fail, and we could very possible go through another Great Depression. I don't mean to be selfish or anything, but I really don't want to live through that. Our country is rich enough and smart enough that even if we didn't see this coming (which we totally did, and don't try and point partisan fingers here, all parties are to blame in this case!) we should be able to figure out some kind of solution to this that doesn't cripple our country, and send the world into a spiral of destruction that will take a decade to recover from.

Just listening to news reports and podcasts and such, I've even noticed a different tone in the voices of hosts, economists, accountants, and all these people who are talking about this. These people are paid to sound right; they make their living keeping their voices under control when reporting the news. I hear strain and panic in the most solid and consistent of them. It's audible and real, and it scares the crap out of me that these people can't control themselves. Their whole career is based on control, and most of them have been doing it for a long time, and have weathered awful crises without a quaver in their reportage. Not this time. Scary.

Slow Down!

2008-08-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

This video was posted to one of the bike forums that I check out regularly. Getting somewhere as fast as possible, often at the expense of others isn't really a good thing. Sometimes those others hit back. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it's hilarious.

Getting around on my bike has made me a better driver. When I make right turns, I check for a cyclist in the (usually nonexixtent) bike lane. I don't really run through yellow lights anymore. I come to a full stop at stop signs, and I try my best not to speed. It seems to me that drivers should be more responsible in accidents when pedestrians or cyclists are hit or injured, because the damage that can be caused (to person or property) by a car is far more massive than by someone walking or riding a bike.

If you are a licensed driver, you have passed an examination stating that you have the skills to operate a car on the road in a safe manner. The same for motorcycles, scooters, and bikes, although the last two do not necessarily require licenses to ride around. We make truck drivers and backhoe operators certify themselves regularly, and in some cases, several times a year. That's because those vehicles can cause HUGE amounts of damage to person and property, because of the simple fact that they are very large, very heave, and can move very fast. In cases where a big rig hits another car, the driver is almost always fined, fired, or suffers some sort of loss. There is a lot of accountability for these trucking companies. I think that the same standard should be applied to car drivers. A car may not weigh sixteen tons, but one or two tons moving at forty-five miles per hour is still enough weight to cause a lot of damage to anything.

I don't think that this should be an absolute law: cars are always to blame. Plenty of cyclists and pedestrians can cause accidents by running stops signs and red lights, stepping out into traffic, walking or riding against traffic, etc... But the Real Problem here is that the assumption is always that the pedestrian or cyclist is at fault, because they don't really belong on the road. That they should stay on the sidewalks. That is the thing that needs to be eliminated.

If drivers assume that they have the right of way above other modes of transportation, then accidents will continue to happen that could have been prevented. People should slow down just a little, and have some patience when they are traveling. If you're speeding because you're late, well, you should have left the house ten minutes earlier.

2008-07-09T10:22:00.001-07:00

I've been lazy about keeping this updated. I don't know how long it's been. To the half dozen that read this: I'm back. Shazam!

We've All Been Here Before

2008-04-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

I like how the Jewish guy is eating a bagel. Because that's how I sustain myself.

Chinese Pizza Cats

2008-04-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'll bet you these poor guys were raised in a government pizza spinning facility somewhere in the Chinese countryside, and are still only given cold rice noodles to eat. And they all have to share the same bed.

i miss being outdoors

2008-03-28T10:01:00.000-07:00

working at my new job for about a month now. i wonder if it will take me to new photographic heights, or turn me into something else. a few things i've learned while working for a professional commercial photographer:

1. you have to unbutton at least the first two buttons on your shirt to appear presentable.
2. shaving is somewhat optional.
3. internet dating is prevalent among these people
4. as a commercial photographer, you will eat a lot of fast food. and carl's jr. becomes the fine dining of said fast food.
5. the people who work together a lot do not necessarily like each other. mutual benefit is the basis of many "friendships".
6. makeup artists are fun.
7. on the long drives back from jobs, the topics that come up are incredibly wide-ranging, and never restricted to shop talk.
8. particularity (i think that's a word...) reigns supreme.
9. you can never have too any batteries.
10. swallow your pride.

and i'm getting paid to learn all this. i just learn it all inside...

nina's moustachio

2008-02-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

everyone knows that a moustachio makes you more smarter.

club prep

2008-01-29T15:28:00.000-08:00

This is one reason that I don't like clubs.

because some people do club prep. club behavior prep

toy piano

2008-01-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

i have never been to chucky cheese's for anything. ever. not even when i was a little kid for a friend's birthday, or my own. i went to baseball games for my birthday.
because chucky cheese's grosses the hell out of me.
kids eat a bunch of pizza, play in the balls, and shove handfuls of once-gleaming tokens into arcade machines that spew tickets, each worth one ten-thousandth of a stuffed frog.
i've eaten a lot of cheap pizza. no big deal. arcade, well it keeps the kids entertained so that the parents can sit and relax after having to preside over a table of kids eating cheap pizza and screaming at the same time.
my real problem is centered around two things.
the balls are a brightly-colored disguise that shrouds a breeding ground for all kinds of bacterial nastiness for kids to touch, then put their fingers up their noses, in their eyes, or shove into the nearest buddy's ear. and i'm not really a germophobe or anything. although, all of this is probably a good thing for kids because don't they need to be exposed to diseases when they're young. just as good as the annual flu vaccination, but doesn't cost a handful, plus giving up half your day for the crappy appointment that the pediatrician's receptionist gave you.
then there's the mascot. a rat. the man himself, mr. c. cheese, is a rat. i shouldn't even have to explain this one. when you say "rat" most people think of two things. general uncleanliness related to rotting garbage that sustains the aforementioned rodent. and the bubonic plague. like that needs any introduction. so why would an establishment attempting to attract children (which only really happens if they can attract the parent at the same time.) choose an animal that carries the plague as a mascot, then prove that catching some sort of virus at the place is as easy as diving into a pool of multicolored plastic balls?

Ashura

2008-01-14T17:58:00.000-08:00

in downtown this last sunday, i observed a gathering to commemorate the death of imam husayn, an important figure in the muslim religion. seeing as i am a photographer, i took pictures. thanks to fed for letting me know this was happening.

i was given some information at the gathering, and did a little bit of research on my own about who husayn was, and why he was revered so much by muslims. he is the grandson of the prophet muhammad, and considered one of his successors. in the year 681, husayn was on his way to the city of karbala when he was attacked by enemies.

a shrine was raised where he was killed in karbala, and is one of the stops that a muslim makes on a pilgrimage.

there were very large numbers of children there, many of whom seemed to be very in tune with what was going on. i saw an older woman lecturing a very small child about the importance of the day.

there did seem to be a marked separation between the women and men the entire time. the men seemed to be more involved in the organization of different ceremonies. also, when prayers were being recited, it was being done so only by men; no women were part of the ceremony. i understand that there are certain rules in islam about keeping men and women separate, but i didn't know that women were not allowed to direct religious ceremonies. if i am at all ignorant on this subject, please correct me.
the entire time, everyone was very friendly to me. i tried my best to not interfere with anything that was going on, and be as respectful as possible. i think that this was noticed, and no one refused to have their picture taken or went out of their way to give me a hard time. one man saw me running around photographing, and pressed me to eat. i accepted, and he gave me more food than i could carry and several bottles of water. the entire time that i was there, i saw food and water being passed out to anyone passing by. this included families, tourists, homeless people, the police, local businesses, and me.

i pretty much had a really good time just people watching. i don't know if i'm the best photojournalist in the world, but taking pictures was a lot of fun at this.

when a fella goes...

2007-12-30T21:53:00.000-08:00

i am happy. i love this stuff. from a to z.

Blue #5

2007-12-29T01:35:00.000-08:00

waiting for the shower water to heat up, i passed thirty seconds reading the ingredients on the back of some soap in the bathroom. water.tocopheryl acetate. castor oil. sodium salicylate. and blue no. 5.
the numbering reminded me of the whole mountain dew/yellow #5/lowers your sperm count thing.
then i thought of how vegans won't use products with certain dyes in them because they're made of crushed beetle shells or something like that.
and then i wondered "why the hell tell anyone that it's beetle shells?"
seriously.
companies lie about things all the time. they lie about inventory stocks to save money. falsify records to drive up stock prices. create false accounts so that the ceo can fund an unsavory habit.
lots of things. but none of them are quite as gross as saying, "the ice cream you just ate is colored with beetle shells." or "your hair dye is derived from the mucus of a sea turtle."
why not just lie to us and say "oh, it's a synthetic coloring that we made in our labs." so much easier. the public swallows the white lie and carries on.
sure maybe vegans are betrayed, but the average person doesn't care about the extremes. they just want their flamin' hot cheetos to be horrifically red. and spicy. who cares how?
no one gets grossed out that they're eating sea cucumber pus, and as long as nothing is toxic , poisonous, or carcinogenic, we're all ok.
maybe i'm just playing devil's advocate here. all i really know is that i rubbed blue no. 5 into my face today, and it might have been crushed beetle shells.

manly men

2007-12-19T12:59:00.001-08:00

I work with one of those guys. The ones who try to be as manly as possible. And talk about it all the time. Constantly working out so he can show everyone how strong and dedicated and committed he is. And offer disparaging comments on any male who doesn't meet their expectations of what a real man is. Example.

A man swims at our pool. He's a really good swimmer. Polite and all that. He wears a pink swim cap. My coworker's response to the pinkness of his swim cap is "That's so gay. What a fag." I usually tell him to shut up and not worry about other people when he says stuff like this. Then he'll switch to candid remarks about the women who swim at our pool, which is equally intolerable to me. Back and forth. Back to my point. He'll also comment on the really unmuscular guys, or the short guys, or the heavier guys or whatever. I suspect that he thinks me a sissy man because I'm skinny and don't lift weights or share his opinions on women. Well, then a sissy man I am.

"Masculine" men are collective. I guess it's supposed to be some kind of bond that keeps all the manly men together, and the others out. So that the real men are easily identifiable or something like that. Masculine men revel in that adjective, and in the company of others who are just like them. It's pretty much a mob. Not in the rioting and burning and looting sense. But a group of individuals who sacrifice that individuality for some kind of group consciousness. The Marlboro Man consciousness. Or the Brawny Paper Towel consciousness. But a mob is only as strong as it's weakest member. Whatever "weakest" qualifies as, aren't all of those manly men lowering themselves by folding into this collective identity? The "real man" would not let himself be a supplicant to an ideal, but would be his own man, and go chop some trees down or something.

See, even I fall prey to the ever encroaching trap of manliness.

So if being a man means giving up something, I would rather be a sissy and go about doing my own thing. I'm reading a book called All the Pretty Horses. Draw your own conclusions.

life lesson

2007-12-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

Whenever you drop a 12" wrench on your foot, it hurts.

Keep a firm grip on things.

Remember to wear shoes.

bad kisser

2007-11-26T21:53:00.000-08:00

so bored at work as usual, my coworkers and i were passing the time with idle conversation. and then i asked a question/
"would you rather date a bad kisser, or someone with excessive body hair? really excessive."
this of course led to all kinds of other questions with endless variation on the single theme. for example:
+bad kisser vs. someone who showered once a week (that's 52 showers a year)
+bad kisser vs. someone who just laid there like a log without moving during sex (no movement, facial expressions, sound, etc... and because of this you were always on top)
+bad kisser vs. long pubic hair (we agreed on a length of three inches minimum)
+bad kisser vs. terrible breath (kind of the same thing; that is, an unbearable set of conditions focused around the mouth)

this went on for about half an hour, and made me wonder just how much we are willing to put up with in a relationship. because we all do. if a relationship was perfect, leaving nothing to be desired, then you would be in a fantasy. and everyone knows that fantasies are not real, and nothing like they are imagined; therefore you would know that this perfect relationship was nonexistent, and you would then begin to search for things that made that imagined fantasy just that: imagined.

*caveat all of this assumes that you are somewhat logical, and can understand the aforementioned points. if you do believe that fantasies are indeed real, go back to reading your eragon books while wrapped in your authentic hogwarts robe. i leave you to it.*

i think that it's better to accept that there is a certain amount of compromise we make in the form of every relationship (families, friends, intimates, etc...), and that it is that lack of perfect balance that makes any kind of progress happen. sometimes that progress is backwards, sometimes forwards. but it's still movement of some kind, yes? fantasies are isolated and static; if they changed, then they would be less that perfect, because perfect things need nothing added or taken away from them. they are simply perfect.

so sorry everyone, but your perfect relationship is not perfect. you do tolerate some things with your family, friend, or loved one. even if you don't know what it is. or they're tolerating something about you.

"thank you"

2007-11-22T10:28:00.000-08:00

happy thanksgiving everyone! i know that we're all thankful that we have certain things in life, but today, try to say that "thank you" out loud to someone.
i hope that everyone has a good time with their families, and if you aren't, well, come and hang out with mine. we're lots of fun!

keep it positive

2007-11-17T14:31:00.001-08:00

so i forgot to mention this. i got the assistant's job. the photographer shook my hand and everything, and sent me terms of agreement to sign. so it's official.
this pretty much gives me an immense sense of relief; that i have a job, it allows for the potential to grow personally and professionally; said job pays a decent wage, and it's doing photography. well, more like learning the ins and outs of the business through doing, but i'll have the advice of a professional available to me.
the photographer, mark, is kind of a prickly dude while he's working, but a nice guy off the clock, and seems to really know his stuff. so it's not like i'm going to be doing demeaning tasks for an asshole guy. i could do that anywhere, and get paid far less with no instruction whatsoever. because that's what i also get for doing this job. during setup, shooting, post-shoot, etc, he'll be explaining exactly what he's doing. it's "do this, because..." instead of just "do this." good stuff for sure.
another bonus is that i won't have to work as a lifeguard for half as much time. i can do it for extra money and such, but i'm finally free of that dead-end job.

the above picture is one of my favorite people from santa cruz. her name was sui fong. she was an exchange student from china, and after our drawing class was over, she went back to china, leaving no way to ever contact her again. the chinese government might have put her in prison or something, i'm sure. she was fun. most of the students in that class dismissed her because her english was not the best, but she was always ready to go do just about anything. she was really making the most of her time here in the u.s.
i had thought of her out of the blue because i saw a sculpture made out of branches the other day. her real specialty was sculpture, and tree branches and parts were her favorite materials. she would use power tools to make tiny marks all over them, then assemble them in a million different ways. she never really cared when people made snide remarks about her or her work, which was great because a lot of people had a lot of things to say. she was probably the best drafter/sketcher i have ever seen. she was always happy and smiling.

i feel terrible for this

2007-11-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

thank you rosie!

jerk.

2007-11-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

okay, i'm awake now. time to recount last night.

i'm riding to the bike oven, where i volunteer, and i hopped my bike up to the sidewalk for the last hundred feet i had to ride. out of nowhere, two kids (something like 5 and 3 years old) come running out of the 99-cent store, not ten feet in front of me. obviously, i can't run them down. so i slam on the brakes and flip over because i'm going so fast. the kids don't even notice me as they keep running across the sidewalk, and then across Figueroa St. to their mom's car. next to me, some tall guy with a scraggly beard is on his cell phone, and laughing at me. then he shot me a thumbs up! i wasn't hurt.

here's my problem. first, why are these kids sent across a five-lane street that's busy with traffic to get something from the store for their mom who is right there? not to mention that i am three times their combined age. one of those girls was seriously 3 years old. no three year old has enough muscle coordination to dodge traffic. couldn't their mom have walked into the store with them? or at least parked on the same side of the street as the 99-cent store?

second, why was that guy laughing and walking away? okay, the laughing i can understand. sometimes it's funny when someone falls down; i laugh at that kind of stuff all the time. but he just walked away. no "holy crap, are you okay man?" nothing. if i had crashed a car into the wall next to him, and been a bloody mess, he would have still been laughing like an idiot while he walked away, thanking God that it wasn't him. and the thumbs up? what the fuck man! "good job, you just fell down! A+" there needs to be a civics class in elementary school that makes you feel stigmatized if you don't check up on someone who gets hurt right in front of you. i hope while he was laughing and walking away he walked into a pole because he was laughing so hard. sometimes, i really don't like people.

cuppa

2007-11-14T10:42:00.000-08:00

it's time for that first cup of something in the morning. usually it's coffee or tea, but sometimes OJ or milk. does anyone else have the problem of needing a drink of something in the morning to get started? or you're otherwise useless until you have said beverage?

Cider and Pumpkins!

2007-10-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

so I usually stay out of all the holiday cheer and spirit stuff. I leave it to the people who really love it. like Rosie. but Megan is having a pumpkin-carving party with cider and pumpkin ale and homemade cookies and I would really love to be there. apparently people are letting their midterms and bad moods get in the way of attending, so they suck. this is one time that I really want to be in the holiday mood/good cheer/whatever because it sounds like fun. and i haven't carved a pumpkin in ages. and i would see people in santa cruz.

speaking of which. a guy i work with is getting his commercial pilot's license, and needs to make a flight over 300 miles long. he said he was planning on going to oakland or san jose for his flight. he asked if i wanted to come. i think i should. it'll cost something like fifty dollars, and i get to fly in a little plane. i'm pretty sure that i'll do it if my schedule permits.

almost job!

2007-10-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

Actually, this has been going on for a few weeks now, but only now do I deem the time ripe to let the world at large know about my job search.

It might be over! I should know in a few weeks for sure. It's an paid intern position with a local photographer who does corporate, advertising, and some product photography. I pretty much aced the first interview, proving to the studio manager that I knew how to handle myself in a studio, and having a conversation about the Constitution and Bill of Rights with the photographer himself. Weird, but odd bits of knowledge do come in handy, I guess. I went back to assist a shoot yesterday, and at the end of it all, he told me that I did a great job, and I was going on a location shoot with them in two weeks.

I feel way too positive about this to still be nervous about not getting the job. Not like someone will jump out and say, "Ha, just fucking with you! Lose!" So if I get this, then it's twelve months assisting this guy, gaining enough experience to pretty much come out and assist full time anywhere. Which is a Very Good Thing.

Anyway, cross your fingers and say a prayer to whatever heathen god you worship, so that I can get this j-o-b.

but it fits so well

2007-10-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm so goddamn weird. For example:

I spent something like five hours today working on bikes. I was all greasy and sweaty and dirty, and I loved it! I can talk to the people at the co-op about all kinds of bike geek stuff.

Later, I talked with one of my coworkers about the pros and cons of a custom made suit. From a roll of cloth to a suit kind of custom made. And that was a really good conversation too.

I wonder if opposites like this happen in nature at all...

Aaaand....good beer is great!

Hobbit Butlers

2007-09-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is one of the funniest things I've read for a while.

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/homo-erectus.html

I think that I'd have my three foot tall Homo get me stuff out of bottom drawers and low shelves. I would handle the stuff up high, and he would take care of low stuff.

And he'd do all that other butler-type stuff too.

2007-09-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

You know, I realized that I really like nice things. I was looking at the Macys ads in the newspaper, and I do think that a thousand dollars is justifiable for a suit. Or even spending twice that for a custom-tailored suit. Why spend less money on something that won't satisfy you?

But at odds with that is that I feel that slavishly following the seasonal changes in fashion is absolutely ridiculous. I personally feel very uncomfortable in tight jeans. But that is the in look right now. I think that having your balls smashed for the sake of a trend is silly. It probably increases the chances of testicular cancer too.

More on this later. All this just kind of hit me between the funny pages and the front page.

Holy Crap!

2007-09-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

There are literally a hundred birds all flying in circles around a tree near my house. They're all squawking really loudly, and it's kind of a crazy thing...

midnight ridazz

2006-12-09T03:18:00.000-08:00

MAN, DRUNKY DRUNK, FED'S BIKE KEPT BRAEKIN, BUT HTAT SHIT AWAS FUN! WE DID SOMETHING FOR THE KISD, AND HAD A BUNCHA FUN AT THE SAME TIME. I'LL BE DOING IT AGAIN ON THE 30TH IF ANYONE CAERES TO JOIN ME.

TIRE AND DRUNK. NIGHT YALL